Skip to main content

The trouble is, you think you have time.

Breaking with my art and fandom news to update everyone on offline events. I've been sick for a few weeks (because the heat makes MS much worse) and feeling sorry for myself, if I'm completely honest. I was hating this year. Hating feeling sick. Thinking how could this year get any worse? It already seems almost biblical - murder hornets, locusts, COVID19, quarantine. Every year I think it can't get any worse than last year. 

I'm going to stop saying that shit.

I lost my mom on Monday. My mom who taught me the high art of fan-girling with subscriptions to Fangoria and Creep Show. Who watched every scifi and horror movie, no matter how terrible (looking at you "Night of the Lepus" )

She, of the photographic memory of anything she'd ever read - not to mention movie lines, song lyrics. We could have entire, deeply philosophical conversations using nothing but movie dialogue. 
She had been sick for years with a blood clot near her heart that could neither be moved nor shrank with meds. It just stayed there, waiting. Two weeks ago she started feeling much worse. We don't know if it was COVID 19 because she refused to go to the hospital. Too many friends, and her own sister, had gone in and not come out. She didn't want to be away from home, away from family. So she refused to go in. She died at home. As far as we can tell, her heart stopped. We don't know if COVID gave the clot the opportunity to move or if it was something else. And now we won't ever know. I'm angry and hurt, but I can't really blame her either. 

It's not just that COVID19 is sickening and killing so many - it's that it's isolating us. We can't support each other, comfort each other, or now, grieve together. We're all at risk to and from each other. We mourn separately. Talking on the phone. Sharing our music playlists and pictures. This is an awful time.

I wasn't going to write about this - not here. But part of what has me so angry is the denial so many people have about COVID19 - about their own responsibility in limiting the risk to others so we can get past this - past this to a time when we can visit each other and hug each other. My socials are filled with people saying it's a hoax, or it's just the flu. I'm in Texas and it's like the whole state is saying "you can't tell me what to do!" And we're all paying the price. It's not just if COVID19 gets you sick. If you get sick with anything that puts you in the hospital, you're isolated. 
If you're reading this, protect yourself and protect others. Keep the distance. Wear a mask. Take this seriously. 

And remember the advice from Jack Kornfield’s Buddha’s Little Instruction Book - "The trouble is, you think you have time." We never have the time we think we have. We never know if the last thing we said to someone, is the last think we'll ever get to say to them. 

"Memory is an event horizon. What's caught in it is gone but it's always there." - sung by Breq, Ancillary Sword, Ann Leckie.


Popular posts from this blog

Star Trek Artists: Tips for Getting Your Fan Art Approved by the Brand

One of the abstract Obsidian Order (commissioned) pieces CBS approved on RedBubble.   Another commissioned set of designs approved by CBS this week.   I finally have a handful of artwork that's been approved by CBS for sale on RedBubble! It only took 6 months, but at least now I have a better understanding of what they're looking for, and what they're rejecting. What follows is only slightly above hearsay but it's what I've learned from other Star Trek artists and from representatives at RedBubble and TeePublic (which have now merged.)   I only recently found out a lot of this stuff when RedBubble and TeePublic joined forces. TeePublic reached out to me upload my fanart over there and I asked them what the brands, particularly CBS/Star Trek was looking for. The rep actually gave me some really helpful info that isn't on the Brand Partnership page. Here's the TL;DR if you don't want to read the whole thing: Avoid actors' face

The Fractal Impulse Collab with The Hungry Creatures and my first Cardassified Portrait!

I've been so excited to tell everyone about this project! I created a Cardassified portrait of Jordan in a collab with Josh Evans at The Hungry Creatures , all in support of The Fractal Impulse . Jordan was my first attempt to Cardassify someone and I couldn't be more excited about the finished product! I provided the portrait per his specification (sunglasses, hair, tunic etc.) and Josh provided the glorious backgrounds. Have a listen and learn more about The Fractal Impulse here: (I'm particularly digging "Witching Hour" off Pumpkin Beats, and "Doom Scroll feat. Bad Praxis" hits the current cultural moment pretty hard.) Spotify : Website: YouTube Channel : Apple Music : SoundCloud:

The Glory of The Expanse Rewatch

WARNING - Spoilers ahead, probably. Especially if you haven't seen seasons 1-3 of The Expanse. I don't remember enjoying a rewatch of any series as much as The Expanse! (Season 4, as well as the previous seasons, are now available to watch on Amazon Prime.)  As soon as I finished Season 4, I started the entire series again. It's like the series was designed to be watched again and again, just in the sheer density of goodies left for fans. Here are my top reasons to watch the whole again and how to get the most out of the experience. (Click on the pictures to enlarge.) 1. The Soundtrack Get the soundtrack if you haven't already. There are Belter versions of pop songs, beautiful instrumentals from Clinton Shorter, all that country music Alex is always listening to and so much more. It's an outstanding soundtrack at a time when most soundtracks I hear just haven't been that inspiring. The quote below (with link following) really gets at why the sco